Dinner with the Dursleys
by Tabberz
Summary: Dudley Dursley has something to say but he dosnt know how. For reasons unknown The Dursleys  all of them  Invite themselves to dinner
1. Someone's at the door

**Disclamier: don't own nothin**

Nine people stood on the Potter's doorstep. A blond haired man stood in the front of the group. Three boys were standing nervously ext to each other. A boney woman was clutching the arm of a rather large man. Another man was standing nearby with his wife. One whale of a woman stood in the back complaining loudly. The blond man rang the door bell.

The group heard a shuffle in the house and a boy yell "I GOT IT MUM!" The door flew open and there stood James Potter.

"Hey Malfoy Where's Scorp?" James asked the blond man. Draco smiled no matter how many times he said it James refused to call him Draco. "Who are they?" James asked again pointing with his broom stick to the group behind him.

"Visitors for your father." Draco answered. "Is he here?"

"Who's at the door James?" Ginny asked as she walked up behind her son. "Hi Dray, What brings you here?" Then she saw who he had in tow. Her face paled.

"Jay go get your dad." Ginny said to her eldest son.

"Alright" James grumbled as he walked down the hall to his father's office.

Harry Potter sat in his office. He had a load of paperwork to do. Who knew being head Auror could be so hard? He was in the middle of signing off on the millionth report of the day when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." Harry called. He turned his chair around and saw James in the doorway.

"What's up Jay?" Harry asked.

"There's someone at the door for you" James replied. Then he turned around and left. Harry sighed. Had James always been this difficult? Harry thought back. Yes, yes he had. He stood up and stretched. Then he left his office to see who was at the door.

**So that's the first chapter. Review and all that jazz. I have another story called Memories so check that out. Um I might not update that often cause I have school and my other story so…**


	2. Sorry I hated you

Dudley Dursley was nervous. Very nervous. He hadn't seen his cousin in over twenty years and now he was coming to visit. What was he going to say? Sorry I hated you forever so how's life been? No he couldn't say that. It was all Lindsey's idea. She had insisted she meet all his family. She had, at least she meet all the people that mattered. But one day, she was cleaning up in the attic and found an old journal of Dudley's and found out about Harry. So hear they were on Harry's door step being stared down by an attractive red-headed woman.

"Jay. Go get your dad?" she said. They black haired boy who had first answered to door walked away and she continued to stare at the all, with a look of hatred.

"Ginny, who's at the door?' Harry asked as he walked up behind her. The woman, Ginny stepped away. It was just Harry at the door now.

Harry had aged well Dudley decided. He looked just like he had when he was seventeen.

"Dray, how it going?" Harry asked.

"Good, you?"

"Was until now." Harry sighed."I'm guessing this isn't a pleasure call for any of you?"

"They called the ministry. The ministry called me." Draco explained. "I can't stay though. Astoria, Scorp and I are going out tonight." He said answering the answer to Harry's unspoken question.

"Well thanks anyway. Say hi to Toria and Scorp for me will you?" Harry asked with a sigh.

"Sure thing." Draco replied. "See you."

"See you." Harry replied gloomily, as Malfoy disappereated.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked the Dursley's. No one spoke. Then a rather petite woman stepped forward. She had brown hair that fell gracefully around her shoulders.

"Hi, I'm Lindsay, Lindsay Dursley. Are you Harry?" She asked cautiously. Harry nodded.

"Aren't you going to let us in boy?" A voiced boomed from the back. Vernon Dursley pushed his way to the front of the group. At the mention of the word boy, Dudley could see Harry flinch and he say the ghost of the dark days of Pivet drive in Harry's eyes.

"I guess." Harry said slightly annoyed after awhile. He turned on his heal and walked down the hall. Lindsay gave Dudley's hand a reassuring squeeze and walked in after him. The rest of the group followed suit.


	3. Hey Mum,Dad, who are they?

**Disclaimer: don't own shiz**

When Harry saw who was at his front door, several things happened. Ginny stormed off into the kitchen. Obviously she knew who they were. Then, a wave of disbelief, and then a wave of naususia, followed by a wave of confusion, washed over him. Of all people who would try and visit him the Dursley's weren't even _on_ that list. Even Marge was there. Draco had brought them here and even _he was_ uncomfortable. Harry talked to Draco and when he had to leave, he was left with the worst thing he could possibly imagine. The Dursleys.

"Hi I'm Lindsay, Lindsay Dursley. Are you Harry?" a petite brown haired woman had asked. All Harry could do was nod.

"Aren't you going to let us in boy?" Vernon asked. Harry swallowed a lump in his throat as he remembered the horrible day at number 4 Pivet drive.

"I guess." Harry said after a while. He heard his own annoyance, confusion, and disbelief in his voice. He turned to walk into his kitchen, he heard everyone else follow.

In the kitchen Ginny was staring out the window above the sink. James Albus and Lily were sitting at the table. Harry walked over to Ginny and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I didn't know." Harry whispered to her.

"I know."

The first thing Lindsay saw as she followed Harry into his kitchen was three children. There were two boys both with messy black hair and glasses like Harry. They could have been twins, except the boy who was James had hazel eyes and was taller than the boy with bright green eyes—like Harry's – whom she assumed to be his brother. There was girl too. She was obvious younger than her brothers. Her red hair was cut to her shoulders and she too had bright green eyes. Lindsay looked around the kitchen and saw Harry and the red-headed woman, who must have been his wife, where caught in an embrace. The little girl turned around and caught sight of the Dursleys. She studied them for a moment, and then turned to her parents.

"Hey, mum dad, who are they?"

**Review and all that jazz.**


	4. What's so Funny?

"Hey mum dad who are they?" Lily asked her parents who were looking out one of the kitchen windows. They both turned to find all the Dursleys standing against the wall. Harry cracked a smile. Then he started to laugh uncontrollably. Lily jumped off her chair and stood in front of her father with a very stern look on her face.

"Dad," she said seriously."What is so freaking funny?" Then James started to laugh. He laughed when ever Lily got stern. James laughing made Al laugh. Al had the funniest laugh which had both Ginny and Lily crack smiles, soon all the Potters were laughing. Harry was doubled over and Ginny was leaning against his bent back. James was pounding the table, while Al's face was frozen with laughed and Lily had fallen onto the floor. The Dursley's were utterly bewildered. When everyone had quieted down Lily gained her serious composure back

"Seriously dad, what's so funny?" Lily asked, then the all started laughing again.

"Siriusly," Harry sighed when the laughed died down again.

"I feel like we're missing the joke." Dudley said for the first time. Harry just shook his head.

"The joke Lily," he said still grinning to his daughter. "Is the fact they would actually come here.'

"That's great dad," Lily said slightly annoyed "But I still don't know who _they_ are?' she said pointing at the Dursleys.

"Don't point Lily," Ginny chided "It's rude."

"I know who they are." Al teased his sister with a smug smile on her face.

"Tell me." Lily demanded.

"Nope." Al smirked.

"Albus Severus Potter so help me god. If you do not tell me this instant I will hex you into next week." Lily's glare was so threatening holding her wand in her hand. Al had to tell her.

"Yeah 'cause he's scared of being cursed by a second year" James scoffed.

"They," he said dramatically pointing at the Dursleys. "Are the _Dursleys_."


	5. The Fight

**HELLO MY LITTLE LEMONDROPS! THAT'S FROM THE EFFECTS OF ALCHOHOL WHICH I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU WATCH! OKAY SO I MOSTLY UPDATE ON WEEKENDS AND THINGS NOW CAUSE I HAVE SCHOOL (YEA NOT REALLY) GOLF PRACTICE (WOOT AGAIN NOT SO MUCH) AND HOMEWORK (AWESOMESAUSE NO NOT AT ALL) SO ENJOY MY LITTLE LEMONDROPS! Disclamier= standred= do not own anthing but my computer**

"They," Albus shouted dramatically." Are the _DURSLEYS!" _Al sounded so dramatic and so absurd that the only thing James could do was laugh. He was laughing so hard that he fell out of his chair and landed with a thud.

"James, what's so funny?" Ginny asked peering worriedly at her son.

"They… can't….be…the…Dursleys."James gasped.

"Why ruddy not?" Vernon thundered glared at the boy how had resembled his brother in law so much that they could be twins.

"Because…" James gasped. "The… Dursleys…hate… dad…they…wouldn't….some…see….him"

"Now that you mention it she looks like a whale" Lily said pointing at Marge."She has a bony neck "she deemed now turning her attention to Petunia "and he looks like a walrus. The only one that doesn't match up is him." Lily reasoned pointing at Dudley. James laughed harder rolling on the floor and Al joined him.

"LILY!" Ginny scolded. Harry paled. Ginny turned toward her husband and she could see the terror in his eyes and see that he was expecting something. Pain. Luckily Marge didn't seem to notice. Everyone else was in a state of shock.

"Why are you here?" Harry croaked. James and Albus stopped laughing immediately. Their father, the great Harry Potter was never scared, but now he looked like a lost three-year-old. Terrified, scared, and alone.

"It's my fault."Lindsay cut in. "You see when I married Dudley, I was intent on getting to know all of his family, and I thought I had until one day I was going through some boxes in our attic. I found some journals of Dudley's from when he was young and when I started to read I found out he had a cousin who he grew up with. You. I wanted to meet you and Dudley said that hi s parents had to come and I wouldn't leave the kids alone and they wouldn't leave Marge alone and nowhere here." She rambled apologetically. Harry cracked a smile and turned his attention to Dudley.

"You kept journals?" Harry asked, grinning. Dudley nodded. "I didn't know you could right Big D!"

"Shut it, Potter." Dudley growled threateningly.

"Make me Dursley. You might have been good at wrestling, but I could beat you in a heartbeat."Harry taunted pulling out his wand.

"You wouldn't." Dudley stammered wide eyed.

"Harry," Ginny said low. "C'mon" Harry reluctantly put his wand away that's when Dudley tackled him.

Harry yelped as he slammed back into the cabinets. Dudley tried to punch him, but harry scrambled out from under him and Dudley's fist hit the floor. He got up and chased harry who had ran to the other side of the kitchen. Dudley tackled him again and they started to roll around on the floor again, kicking, scratching, biting and punching, Vernon was yelling "Give 'im the old one two Dudley, lord know he deserves it." James was screamed "DAD! ARE YOU A WIZARD OR AREN'T YOU? USE YOUR BLOODY WAND AND KICK HIS FAT ARSE." Ginny didn't even yell at him. Harry pulled out his wand, and before Dudley could do anything else he was hanging upside down near the ceiling.

"LET HIM DOWN!" Petunia screeched at Harry. Harry was breathing heavily, blood dripping from his nose and a black eye already forming. Harry glared at her.

"Harry, let him down now." Ginny whispered in his ear, in a soothing voice. Harry obliged. Dudley crashed down on the floor.

"What do you want?" Harry asked, as Dudley scrambled up.

" I.. we" Dudley started "wanted to talk."

"Want to talk, you want to talk?" Harry said in disbelief."All of you, you all want to talk to, me?" Lindsay, and Dudley nodded as did their three sons. Petunia slowly followed suit.

"Dudley, thinks we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot."

**Review!**


	6. Excuse me did you say Wizard

**Hello Children! I hope you all are in LLLLLOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE with me story! I am trying to juggle the world on my shoulders. I have school, golf team practice, homework, and of course Fan-Fic! You lovely children should read my other HP Fan-Fic called Memories. Enjoy my little gumdrops!**

"Dudley seems to think we got off on the wrong foot." Vernon said. Harry state of shook just got deeper. Then he got hysterical.

"GOT OF ON THE WRONG FOOT? WE GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT? THIRTY NINE YEAR AGO! WE GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT THIRTY NINE YEARS AGO AND YOU WAN TO FIX IT NOW?"Harry yelled hysterically. James, Albus, and Lily stood in a state of shook. Ginny intervened.

"Mr.—uh… Dursley… um why don't you—why don't you take you and your family into the living room." Ginny said to Dudley hesitantly while glancing at Harry. Harry glared at her but nodded. "Jay, will you take your brother and sister into the living room with... uh… your father's…uh… family." When they all left, Ginny turned on Harry.

"Harry you need to calm the freak down." Ginny said sternly grabbing him by the shoulder and shaking him a bit

"Ginny, I want to but I can't. Trust me I'm trying. I never wanted you to meet them and I never wanted Jay, or Al, or Lily to meet them. You've heard from Ron and me and Kingsley and Your dad and everyone else in the order, that they're terrible. I never wanted to expose you all to that." Harry told her.

"Harry James Potter. Do you think that I would have stopped loving you based on your family?" Ginny asked mouth agape. Harry shrugged. Ginny sighed and pulled him into a hug.

"People's opinions on someone are often based on their opi0ons of their family members, if they'd met them before." Harry told her. "I didn't want you to think of me differently if you'd met them."

"I could never change the way I feel about you even if I tried."

Lindsay looked around the Potter's Living room. It was really nice, she decided. There were big sofa squishy armchairs by the fire place a bookshelf and a sofa on one wall and on the other a television. The walls had red and gold wallpaper on them and the floor was cover with soft white carpet. Above the sofa was a red tapestry. It had a roaring golden lion on it and the word Gryffindor.

"What's Gryffindor?" Lindsay asked Lily.

"You don't know what Gryffindor is"?" James asked in disbelief. Lindsay notice that his shirt was the same red with the same gold lion it too said Gryffindor.

"Of course no Jay, there muggles." Lily told him exasperated.

"Gryffindor's a house at Hogwarts." Lily explained.

"Hogwarts?" Lindsay asked again. She heard a funny noise she turned around to find her husband mother and father in law quite pale.

"Do you three know what Hogwarts is?" Lindsay asked them all accusingly.

"Bloody school, ruddy damn wizard rubbish excuse for a school."Vernon muttered.

"Excuse me did you say wizard?" Lindsay asked him. Did she hear him right? Did he just say WIZARD SCHOOL?

"THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" James yelled in disbelief.

"Well you know what dad said Jay they never where very excepting about any of it." Al told him grinning. "Especially her." He added jabbing his thumb at Petunia.

"What do you mean, Al?" Lily asked.

"Come off it Lils! You've heard dad's stories about Grandpa James and Grandma Lily. That's Grandma Lily's sister!"

"Who's whose sister?' Ginny asked as she and Harry walked in the room


	7. Tell 'em your story Dad

"Who's whose sister?" Ginny asked as she and Harry walked in the room.

"She," Al said jerking his thumb at petunia again. "Is Grandma Lily's sister."

"Don't point Al."Ginny said tiredly.

"I think we should formally introduce our selves." Dudley said.

"Okay," Ginny agreed. "I'm Ginny Potter. I'm married to Harry obviously. These are our children. This is our oldest James, he just turned seventeen" She said pointing out the black haired boy with hazel eyes and glasses. "This is Albus, we mostly just call him Al, he's fifteen" pointing out the second boy. "This is our daughter Lily, and she's twelve." Petunia started at Lily. It was frightening she look so much like her own sister.

"I'm Dudley Dursley. This is my wife Lindsay."He told them pointing her out." these are our sons." The three boys where standing behind their father. The all came to stand right in front of him. The tallest on had brown hair and watery blue eyes. The middle sized one also had brown hair and thoughtful brown eyes. The shortest boy had wide green eyes and he too had brown hair. "This is Dudley he's our oldest. He also just turned seventeen," Dudley said pointing to the tallest boy. "This is our middle son Vernon he's fifteen, and this" he said pointing to the shortest boy,"is—"

"Harry, he's twelve." Lindsay finished. Harry's head snapped up from the floor.

"Seriously?" Harry asked. Lily giggled

"What?" Dudley asked, slightly embarrassed.

"Siriusly." Lily giggled.

"I don't get it." Harry said confused.

"Old family joke" James told him. Slightly annoyed.

"You named your son after me?" Harry asked Dudley in a state of shock. Dudley nodded with his jaw set.

"Thank you.

"Dad, you need to tell them your story " Lily told her father pulling on his arm.

"They already know." Harry told her pointing to the elder generation of Dursleys."They didn't even like it the first time why would they like it a second?"

"But Lindsay and Vernon, Dudley and Harry don't, and to be honest I think they're rather confused "Lily countered staring her father down.

Harry laughed "Okay where do I begin?"

**OKAY SO REVIEW YADDY YADDY YADDA IF THE NAME IS ****UNDERLINED ****(I.E ****HARRY)**** THEN IT'S DUDLEY AND LINDSAY'S KID. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ MY OTHER STORY**** MEMORIES** **IT'S SAD AND LONELY AND NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE READING IT AND IT NEEDS REVIEW I PERSONALLY THINKS IT BETTER THAN ****DINNER WITH THE DURSLEYS**-** BUT HEY WHAT EVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT**


	8. Harry Tells The Beginning Sort Of

**HI GUYS! OKAY SO HERE IT IS HARRY TELLS EVERYONE ABOUT HIS LIFE OR AT LEAST PART OF HIS LIFE! AGAIN STILL BUSY THOUGH SO MY NEXT UPDATE IS GONNA BE A LITTLE SHADY I HAVE GOLF PRACTICE SCHOOL, BIRTHDTAYS THIS WEEK IS ALSO SPIRIT WEEK AND I'M PLAYING IN THE POWDERPUFF FOOTBALL GAME AND HOMECOMING IS THIS SATURDAY AND OFCOURSE I HAVE OTHER STORIES…**

**SO ENJOY!**

Harry Laughed "Okay where do I begin?"

"Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start." Harry  sang."What you've never seen The Sound of Music? "James, Al, and Lily shook their heads. "Julie Andrews? Captain von Trapp? Widowed has seven kids? Living in worn torn Austria during World War II? ANYTHING?" They shook their heads. Harry sighed. Dudley Chuckled.

"Are you going to get on with the story or aren't you, boy?" Vernon growled from the couch behind where Dudley was standing. Harry winced.

"Dad," Dudley murmured "Cut it out, he'll get to it. Besides it's not his fault little Harry had a question." Vernon looked awestruck, but didn't say anything.

"Al, can you go get the little red photo album I have please?" Harry asked his son. Al nodded and grabbed a little book from the book shelf in the corner of the room. Harry grabbed it from him "Thanks Al." Harry sat in one of the arm chairs. Ginny sat in the other, while Vernon, Petunia, and Marge sat on the couch. Lindsay, Dudley and all the kids sat on the floor at Harry's feet.

"Here we go." Harry muttered, under his breath. Ginny snorted. " Before I tell you about me I' have to tell you a little about my parents. My father was named James Matthew Potter, he was born March 27, 1960. My mum's name was Lily Marie Evans." Petunia glared at him when he said this. Harry paused for a moment and raised his eyebrow at here, she waved her hand for him to continue speaking."Anyway, my mum was born on January 30,1960. When they were eleven they went to the same school. My dad was a prankster always messing with everyone, My mum didn't like that very much in fact my dad was always asking her out and she was always turning him down and it wasn't until they were in their seventh year of school that she finally said yes. They got married on February 14, 1979. I was born on July 31,1980. I far as I knew we had a happy life, the three of us. Both of my parents had been well liked at school. But they didn't get to talk too many of their friends."

"Why not?" both Dudleys asked bewildered.

"Because they were in hiding from a Dark wizard named Voldemort."Harry started again. Ginny and… Petunia both cringed. Harry looked at Petunia with a confused face, she just brushed it off with pursing her lips and looking away.

"Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing its self." Lily smirked.

"Right you are my lily-flower."Harry said patting her head, Lily beamed

"You've been hanging 'round Aunt 'Mione a bit too much if you ask me Lils."James scoffed.

"Good thing no one asked you then, huh, Jay?" Lily retorted.

"Dumbledore said that too, you know. That's were Aunt 'Mione got it from, James." Al told his brother.

"Oh sure, drag _DUMBLEDORE_ into why don't you? Never give up a chance to drag in your brilliant namesake do you."James vented. Both Lily and Al opened there mouths to retort but Harry beat them to it.

"ENOUGH!"Harry yelled. "James, if you cannot be absolutely nice I have no problem taking away your new broom! If you insult one more member of this family or anyone of importance to me or your mother I swear you will not get that broom back 'till Christmas. Do you understand?" Harry told his oldest with a tone that implied that he was obviously trying to keep calm. James was a little awestruck, his father almost never punished him, or threatened to punish him. James nodded.

"He- V-Voldemort, he was the one who killed Lily?" Petunia whispered. Harry nodded, and the continued.

"Right , so they were hiding from Voldemort. There's this spell, called the Fidelis Charm, it's sort of a protection. They were going to use my godfather, Sirius, as there secret keeper, but my dad thought that was a little too obvious. Sirius was the obvious choice and his brother was a Death Eater."

"Death Eater?" Vernon asked.

"That's what Voldemort followers called themselves, Sirius' brother, Regulus was a death eater." Al explained.

"What did they do?" Dudley asked.

"They were killing Muggle-Borns and Muggles, they killed Muggle-Borns to 'rid the wizarding world of impurities' or some crazy shiz like that, the killed Muggles just for sport" Lily explained.

"Muggles?" Harry  asked.

"DON'T ASKE QUESTIONS!" Vernon barked. The first rule to a quite life at the Dursleys.

**ALRIGHT SO THAT'S IT! I DECIDED TO BREAK UP HARRYS LIFE BEACUASE I WANTED DURSLEYS TO ASKE QUESTIONS AND STUFF SO ITS GONNA BE AROUND LIKE 3 OR FOUR CHAPTERS LONG IF I DID IT ALL OF IT WITH THE QUESTIONS IT WILL BE LIKE 16 PAGES ON MY COMPUTER SO WAIT AND REVIEW!**


	9. They Die Almost

**HEY GUYS! I FEELING LIKE SHIT, THANKS TO MY FRIENDS SO I DECIDED TO WRITE SOME FOR YOU GUYS. IN THE LAST CHAPTER HARRY STARTED TO TELL BOUT HIS LIFE, THAT GONNA CONTINUE IN THIS CHAPTER. THERE WHERE A LOT OF DATES IN THE LAST CHAPTER I ONLY KNOW THAT HARRY, LILY, AND JAMES' BIRTHDAYS ARE RIGHT. I MADE UP JAMES AND LILY'S WEDDING DATE**

**DISCLAMIER: DON'T OWN SHIZZELZ**

**KEEP CLAM AND READ ON!  
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"DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!" Vernon barked at his youngest grandson.

"It's alright, I actually people prefer questions, saves a lot of headache in the end." Harry explained icily to his uncle. Lily answered Harry's question.

"A muggle is a person who doesn't have any magic." Lily told him.

"So I'm a muggle?" Harry asked, a little disappointed. Lily nodded.

"Awwwww! Being a wizard would've been so frickin' cool!" He complained. James chuckled.

"Don't worry little cousin, if you ask me, muggles who know a witch or wizard usually have it pretty good."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they get the benefits of magic if the witch or wizard is nice enough, and they don't have to remember, plants and potions, and spells and wand movements and when the goblin rebellions happened and all that stuff, they just get the cool part." James shrugged.

"Maybe but then they get dependent on wizards and witch's and there always using shortcuts, and it's illegal for wizards to use magic in front of muggles unless its life or death." Albus pointed out.

"Whatever Al."

"When am I going to be able to continue?" Harry asked his sons.

"Now, if you want." James replied cheekily. Harry sent him a look and continued.

"Anyway so they chose my dad's 'friend'," harry made air quotes around the word friend, his expression darkened. "Peter Pettigrew, to be the secret keeper instead. As it turned out Pettigrew was working for voldemort and on October 31, 1981, voldemort entered Godric's Hollow."

"What's a secret keeper?" Lindsay asked at the same time Vernon asked "Who's Peter Pettigrew?"

"SHHH!" The potter children yelled.

"What's Godric's Hollow?" Harry whispered to Lily. But she just shook her head, hanging onto her father every word.

"He crept up to our house. And he opened the gate but we didn't notice. Through the living room window he saw my father making puff or colored smoke at me, I was trying to grab it." Harry's voice cracked a little. "My mum came in the room and told him something, he through his wand on the couch and stretched, mum picked me up and started to carry me upstairs. Then Voldemort threw open the door."

**REVIEW IF YOU WANT ME TO FEEL BETTER! IF I FEEL BETTER I REIGHT MORE! HELL, JUST REVIEW ANYWAY! I LIVE OFF OF REVIEW! :D! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**


	10. A Little Heart to Heart

**HI GUYS! ON NOV.4 I SAW STARKID! IF ANYONE KNOEWS THAT THAT IS THEN 'YAY' OF YOU DON'T GOOGLE IT! ANYWAY STARKID INSPIRED ME TO WRITE YOU GUYS SOME STUFF, AND RIGHT NOW I'M LISTENING TO AVPM SOUNDTRACK SOME STUFF, SO YEP! SO HERE YOU GUYS ARE PEOPLE DIE, WHICH COULD BE GOOD OR BAD DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT! PLUS MY BIRTHDAY WAS A COUPLE DAYS AGO (NOV.7) SO WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I GOT A NEW COMPUTER AND SO THIS IS MY FIRST CHAPTER ½ WRITTEN AND PUBLISHED FROM MY NEW COMPUTER!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING**

**KEEP CALM AND READ ON!**

"Then Voldemort threw open the door. My mum was half way up the stairs, my dad ran in and told my mum to take me and run he said he would fend Voldemort off. He didn't even have his wand. Voldemort killed him there. My mum and I were in what was my room, I suppose." Harry told everyone, thinking hard, concentrating on the memory voldemort had shown him so long ago. "She had tried to barricade the door, but he blasted through it. She calmly put me down in my crib. Voldemort told her that if she just let him kill me she would be okay, he wouldn't kill her, that was probably a lie." Harry said darkly, glaring at the floor, he picked his head up and stared straight ahead at the wall. "She pleaded with him." Harry's voice broke, anyone could hear the sadness and grief he carried with this memory. "He told her to step aside, she asked him to have mercy."

James snorted "Like that was gonna happen." He muttered to Al. Al nodded in agreement.

"My mother asked him to kill her instead, and he did kill her, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to kill me. He tried. He cast the curse at me but it rebounded, hitting him instead."

"So... he died?" Dudley asked his cousin. Harry was staring at the floor again, but he shook his head.

"No, he disappeared, and he lost his body, but no he didn't die until seventeen years later." Harry explained to him.

"I'm lost." Lindsay said hopelessly

"How's about we take a break?" Ginny suggested, standing up.

"Good idea." Vernon agreed. Everyone got up and walked into the kitchen. Everyone but Harry and Petunia. Harry continued to stare at the floor, choking back tears. He only looked up when he heard a sob. Petunia was crying. In all the years Harry had known his aunt he only saw her cry for Dudley, and she was crying at nothing then. Harry was shocked to know Petunia actually had some emotions.

"Are you alright?" harry asked her hesitantly. Petunia looked up and across the room at him.

"I never knew," she choked out.

"Never knew what?" Harry asked.

"How Lily died. I knew that she was killed, I thought there was a bomb or something, but I didn't—I didn't know that she was trying to s—save yo—you." Petunia sobbed. Harry walked over and sat next to her, he was sure this was probably the closest he's been to his aunt in his entire life. "I feel horrible."

"Why?" harry asked surprised.

"I was so mean to Lily, because I was jealous, she got to go learn magic, at a boarding school and I had to stay in the boring _muggle_ world. I resented her she had what I wanted." Petunia sniffled. Then they heard a loud bang from the kitchen and raced to see what happened.

Ginny led the way into the kitchen. Lindsay followed, along with James, Lily, Al, Harry, Vernon, Dudley, Vernon and Dudley. When they all got into the kitchen, she saw that Harry and Petunia weren't there. But she decided that maybe they needed to talk. Vernon, Dudley and Lindsay were at one end of the table talking to each other. At the other end of the table the three Dursley boys sat no doubt talking about the story they had heard so far. That's when Ginny saw her three children, they were huddled in a corner, with James leaning against the wall, whispering to Lily and Al.

"Oh, no this can't good." She muttered to her, but she let them be. Big mistake.

"So I say we use some of those fireworks Uncles Fred and George invented in their seventh year, you know the ones that multiply every time you try to get rid of 'em." James suggested to his brother and sister.

"Whata 'bout those candies, the ones that make you sick, when you eat one end?" Al asked his brother. James nodded.

"Can we use one of those decoy deta-thingys?" Lily asked her brother excitedly. James grinned.

"I've corrupted you, haven't I?" James asked her while he ruffled her hair. She pulled her head out from under his hand and nodded.

"Probably."

"Okay, Lily, Al." James said suddenly business like." Go to my room and Get the candies and the decoy-deta-thingy and the fireworks." A few minutes later Lily and Albus ran back down stairs there hand filled with.

"Let's get to work."

**OKAY I KNOW YOU'RE ALL PROBABLY LIKE WHAT HAPPENS? BUT NOW IT'S THE NINTH AND I HAD TO RE-WRITE STUFF WHEN I TRENSFERRED IT TO MY NEW COMPUTER SO...YEAH I'VE ALSO SPENT LIKE 5 DAYS ON THIS CHAPTER AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME SO EXPECT MORE SOON!**

**REVIEW! AND IF YOU TELL ME HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY YOU GET A FREE VIRTUIAL CHOCLATE BAR!**


	11. Let's Have Some Fun

**ALRIGHT SO HERES THE NEXT CHAPTER! IF YOU CAN RECALL THE POTTER KIDS WERE GOING TO TRICK SOMEONE… PROPS TO YOU IF YOU FIGURE IT OUT! Y'ALL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY! IT SNOWED! YES IN NOVEMBER! I KNOW I LIVE IN ONE OF THE MOST UNPREDICTABLE STATES WEATHER WISE, BUT THESES FLAKES WERE HUGE! IT WAS LIKE GOD WAS THROWING COTTON BALLS AT US! IT WAS AMAZING! ANYWAY STORY.**

**DISCLAIMER- Y'ALL SHOULD KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA SAY BY NOW**

"Let's get to work." James said with the most serious face he could and they did. Within three minutes everyone besides themselves and their mother was either bleeding, vomiting, passed out on the floor, couldn't talk or was being harassed by fireworks.

"JAMES! GET RID OF THESE FIREWORKS!" Ginny yelled over the noise of people being sick or the squeals while Vernon ran away from a particularly nasty firework shaped like a …kitten? Lily, Al and James stifled laughs.

"Can't mum, don't have my wand. Why don't you give it a go?" James asked cheekily. Ginny glared at her son, but tried to get rid of the fireworks. There was a bang as they multiplied. Harry and Petunia ran into the kitchen. Both looked as though they had been crying.

"What the devil is going on here?" Harry asked at the sight of fireworks, vomit, blood, and an unconscious Dursley in the floor, in his kitchen. James, Lily and Albus all shoved their hands into their pockets and started to whistle. Harry cracked a smile. Then he saw the fireworks. They were the ones Fred and George had invented in his fifth year. They multiplied every time you tried to get rid of them. The he burst out laughing.

"This isn't funny!" Ginny told him.

"Sorry love. But this is something Fred and George would do. In fact I think they did this once." Harry gasped.

"Just get rid of the fireworks." Ginny grumbled.

"James you heard your mother, get rid of the fireworks. While you're at it un-curse everybody will you?" Harry told his son after he regained his composure.

"Sure thing pops." Within minutes everything- and one- was back to normal.

"Shall we continue with our story?" Harry asked.

"How bout we eat first?" Lily suggested. "It's been a long night and it's getting late."

"Good idea…Lola?" Dudley started.

"Lily."

"Good idea Lily good idea."

**AND THAT'S THE END OF THAT! NOW WE GET TO THE ACTUAL DINNER WHICH I PROMISE WILL BE INTERSETING! ;DDDDD! I JUST REALIZED THIS IS THE ELEVENTH CHAPTER AND I'M POSTING IY ON 11/11/11 NOVEMBER 11,2011! ITS ALSO VETERNS DAY AND MY FRIENDS BIRTHDAY! IT WOULD BE REALLY COOL IF I POSTED THIS AT 11:11 BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!**

**REVIEW OR I DIE! **


	12. Time to Eat

**OKAY I KNOW I'M LATE BUT RIGHT NOW IT IS 12:45 IN THE MORNING OR 0:45 HOWEVER YOU LOOK AT IT. I HAD SCHOOL SHIT AND NEXT WEEK IS THANKSGIVING WHICH MEANS PARADE IN THE D! AND FINALS FOR FIRST TRI ARE COMING UP WHICH REMINDS ME THAT'S PROBABLY SOMETHING I SHOULD DO! AND I WAS IN THIS IMPROV CLASS WITH MY THEATRE GROUP AND OUR IMPROV 80'S MURDER MYSTRY PROM WAS THE 18****TH**** AND 19****TH**** OF THE ELEVENTH MONTH. AAAANNNNDDDD… OUR CAST PARTY WAS LAST NIGHT (?) ANNNNDDD… IN OUR PLAY THING I FOUND OUT THAT WAS BREED IN A TEST TUBE AND WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HAMSTER BABY.**

**SO YEA IT'S BEEN A LONG WEEK **

**DISCLAIMER: NOT EVEN GONNA SAY**

"Good idea Lily, good idea." Dudley told her. Harry seemed to be grinning.

"Well we don't really have anything to eat, I was starting to cook when you ….. uh….arrived." Ginny said awkwardly. Harry's grin faded. But it wasn't because he realized that the Dursleys never went about five minutes without eating something.

"Teddy's gonna be here soon." Harry told Ginny. "That's mean we'll have fourteen people here for _one_ dinner. I know your family was big Gin, but even when Hermione and I were staying over there wasn't _that_ many people."

"Well, we could go to the Leaky Cauldron." James started.

"They wouldn't be able to see it James." Lily pointed out jerking a thumb to her father's relatives in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Well, I guess were going to have to go to a muggle pub, when Teddy comes over." Harry said at last.

It really is going to be dinner with the Dursleys.

**YES I KNOW ITS SHORT AND THAT I'M EVIL BUT YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND…. I'M BUILDING SUSPENCE AND YOU WILL LOVE ME IN THE END BEACAUSE NOW THEY ARE HAVING A LEGIT DINNER WITH THE DURSLEYS AND IT'S NOT AT THEIR HOUSE WHICH IS GOING TO MAKE IT EVEN MORE BEASTLY NO THAT I GOT THAT OUT REVIEW!**

**IF YOU WANNA BE A BEAST (AND YOU GOTTA BE A BEAST) REVIEW!**

**PLEASE?**


	13. Teddy Pays A Visit

**ALRIGHT SO I GOT A LOT OF COMMENTS ABOUT HOW SHORT MY LAST CHAPTER WAS. I ALSO KNOW I POSTED A LITTLE BIT TOO FAR APART SO SENCE I HAVE A FIVE DAY WEEKEND DUE TO THANKSGIVING (I HAVE WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY OFF PLUS THURSDAY (DUH) AND THEN THE REGULAR SATURDAY AND SUNDAY) I DECIDED I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU POSSIBLY THE LONGEST FAN FICTION CHAPTER THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN AND IF I DON'T DO THAT THEN YOU ARE GOING TO GET AS MANY GOOD CHAPTERS AS I CAN TYPE IN A DAY. AND WITH THAT WE BEGIN!**

"Well, I guess were going to have to go to a muggle pub, when Teddy comes over." Harry said at last.

"I have a better idea." James informed him.

"This has to be good." Lily mumbled to Al. He sniggered and whispered something back. Lily smiled but James just rolled his eyes and continued.

"Let's let the Dursleys decide. We could go to a muggle pub or we could go to the Leaky Cauldron. Make it up to them." Everyone stared at James for a bit, until one of the Dursley boys spoke out.

"Well, I think it would be interesting to go to a wizard restaurant or pub or whatever." Harry sated His brothers and mother nodded in agreement. Dudley however hesitated and with good reason. The elder Vernon Dursley did not like this idea.

"ABSOLUTLY NOT!" Vernon yelled at his grandson. "I WILL NOT BE ASSOCITATED WITH THIS SORT OF TOM-FOOLERY! ABSOLUTLY NOT!"

"Vernon-"Petunia started, but she was cut off by her husband.

"And you!" He barked at Harry. "How dare you drag Dudley into this!"

"I didn't—" Harry replied putting his hands in front of himself as to protect himself.

"DON'T YOU LIE TO ME BOY!" Vernon barked at his nephew, as the color rose in his cheeks.

"STOP!" Harry roared. "Enough."

"Don't you tell me—"Vernon started angrily but half way through his sentence he found that he was silenced by his a flick of his nephew wand. Harry was glaring at him, Wand pointed threating. It came into Vernon's mind that his nephew could do a lot worse than make him lose his voice.

"I want you to listen, and it will be best if you listen very,_ very _closely. I have had enough of you and your – _intolerance._ If you are going to be under _my_ roof and under the protection of_ my_ family you WILL do as I say. If I tell you to leave, you will do so. If tell you to be silent you will be silent." Harry said in a low dark voice. Vernon nodded.

"And as for you calling me boy or any other name you may think of that is not my own that WILL stop now. You will address me by my proper name and you will acknowledge my existence. Is that clear?"

Vernon nodded again

"Good." Harry said with a smile, and Vernon found that he could speak again. There was a knock at the door.

"It's Teddy!" Lily yelled. She jumped and ran to the door.

"Teddy?" Lindsay asked Ginny.

"Harry's godson. He was orphaned at a very young age. He was partially raised by us." Ginny said indicating Harry and herself. "When Teddy was fourteen, his grandmother died and he came to live with us permanently." Lindsay nodded. She couldn't imagine what that must have been like. But maybe it ran in the family. Vernon and Petunia were intended to raise Harry after he had been orphaned at a young age and Harry helped raise this Teddy when he was also orphaned at a young age. Would she and Dudley suddenly be taking care of an orphaned child be quested to them?

Teddy Lupin stood on the door step to his godfather's home. It was Sunday. One of the days he came to eat with his adopted family. I was the only way the Potter's would let him move out. He was just about to knock again when I door flew open. Before he could get a word out of his mouth he was tackled by a creature with red hair.

"Hey kid." Teddy greeted Lily as she wrapped him in a hug. He almost fell of the step, because Lily had ran at him full force. He untangled himself from his little god sister and greeted the rest of the family.

"Hey Jamie, Hey Al." Teddy said to the boys after they had participated in their own secret handshake. Next he hugged Ginny and then he turned to Harry.

"Teddy Lupin." Harry grinned as he opened his arms for a hug.

"Harry." Teddy said as he hugged his godfather. Ginny laughed.

"What's funny?" Teddy asked her.

"That scene is oddly familiar to one the summer before Harry's fifth year." She reasoned. Teddy shrugged.

"What's for dinner?" He asked

"Were going out." Al told him. Teddy nodded. Then he noticed the Dursleys.

"And who might they be?" Teddy asked curiously to no one in particular. Lindsay stepped forward.

"Hi, I'm Lindsay. Lindsay Dursley and this is -"

"Excuse me, ma'am did you say Dursley?" Teddy interrupted eyes wide.

"Yeah, I did." Lindsay answered him. She looked uncomfortable, shifting her weight form one foot to the other slightly.

A wide grin spread over Teddy's face, a very mischievous grin.

"Would these be the infamous Dursleys?" Teddy asked his godfather.

"The very same." James answered. Teddy was now grinning ear to ear

"That's FANTASTIC!" He enthused. He then reached over to Lindsay and shook her hand. "Introduce me to the rest if you would be so kind madam." Lindsay gave him an odd and slightly startled look, but obliged to Teddy's request.

"This is my husband Dudley, my mother in law Petunia, my father in law Vernon and my father in laws sister Marge. " She said pointing out each in turn. "These are my sons Harry, Vernon, and Dudley." Again she pointed out each person in turn.

"Brilliant! So were we going?" Teddy continued. Vernon answered this time

"Some place called Leaky Cauldron." The boy said rather confused.

"Excellent, I think you'll like it, uh—Vernon, your dad and especially your granddad probably not, but you—"

"Teddy!" Ginny scolded.

"Yes?" Teddy asked with a cocky tone.

"Don't scare 'em off before we get there please and thank you."

Petunia's first impression of Teddy was _bright_. Not only because of his personality. His hair was a fluorescent yellow. It would seem that he had bleached his hair and then took think form a highlighter pen and washed his hair with it. He was almost glowing. That wasn't the only unsettling thing about Teddy.

**ALRIGHT SO I HOPE Y'ALL NICE AND HAPPY NOW! WHEN I WROTE THE FIRST AUTHOR NOTE IT WAS LIKE TUESDAY NIGHT AN DNOW ITS FRIDAY NIGHT, SO I SUPPOSE YOU COULD SAY I GOT SIDETRACKED I WILL TRY AND UPDATE SOONER NEXT TIME! I WILL HAVE YOU ALL KNOW THE CONTENT OF THE STORY LIKE THE LEGIT CHAPTER NOT INCLUDING AUTHOR NOTES IS 1,020 WORDS, SO NO COMPLAINTS ABOUT A SHORT CHAPTER! TOTAL THIS IS 1,197 WORDS!**


	14. Get in the Car

**So… It's been a while huh?**

**Disclaimer: I—I don't….I can't… I'm not…*mumble* own…..J.K Rowling* ****mumble* I don't own Harry Potter**

Ginny hugged her godson then turned to Harry. He nodded to her silently. She cleared her throat.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Ready for what?" Vernon asked back.

"Dinner, stupid." Lily teased. Everyone laughed.

"Lily." Harry warned quietly.

"Wait!" Teddy cried dramatically, changing his hair to pink. The Dursleys gasped and the Potters giggled. "What happened to those home-y happy family home-cooked Sunday dinner I've been looking forward to?"

"Have you seen how many people are here Teddy? I am not cooking for that many people?" Ginny claimed.

"Gramdma Weasley didn't have a problem with it." He muttered.

"Out." She pointed to the door.

"What?"

"Out."

"You're not—your joking right?"

"Out."

"Ginny, Harry—I – what?"

"Out."

"Harry. Tell me she's joking." Teddy pleaded as he jaw dropped. Ginny laughed and gave him a hug. She pulled back and held him by the shoulders and looked into his eyes.

"But if you ever say that again, I'm breaking our contract."

"What contract?" Vernon asked. There was finally something _human_ here.

"Mum and Teddy made this contract when Teddy moved out, he has to come round for dinner, four days a week and he has to stay for holidays and any girlfriend or boyfriend has to go through them." James explained, snickering.

"Boyfriend!" Teddy yelled. "You're gonna get it Potter!" and he threw James on the ground. They wrestled playfully for a moment before Harry silently separated the two laughing boys.

"Get in the car." Ginny said, playfully shoving the two out the door.

"What exactly are we supposed to do?" Petunia asked coolly. Ginny and Harry stared at her in bewilderment.

"What do you mean?' Harry responded.

"Are we flying on your_ broom_?" She asked scathingly. Harry snickered.

"Brooms aren't family vehicles." Al laughed.

"Take your sister and get in the car Al." Harry said. Al walked out pulling a complaining Lily out by the arm.

"We'll take the car." Ginny confirmed.

"You have a car then bo—Potter?" Vernon asked. Harry nodded.

The Potter family care wasn't very flashy and didn't seem very large. This was brought to Harry's attention by his uncle.

"Don't worry." Harry assured him. "Everyone will fit."

**So That's that. I just have one question…**

**Do Wizards hold their own Olympics?**


	15. Car Ride

"Don't worry." Harry assured him. "Everyone will fit."

Petunia was skeptical at best. A car doesn't hold fourteen people, at its very best a normal motor vehicle held half that. None the less she followed her family toward the ordinary sized car that had parked itself in front of the Potter's home.

Vernon Dursley was curious. A normal thing for a normal boy, except he wasn't curious about normal things. Wizards were what had sparked Vernon's curiosity and his father's cousin's story seemed exactly like what he had dreamed about. Squished between his brothers, the younger Potters and the doors of the car he dived deeper into the mystery that was Harry Potter.

"Uh… Harry?" he asked, his brother turned toward him. "Mr. Potter?" He clarified

"Yeah?" Harry responded, from the front.

"Can you uh… finish your story, maybe?" Vernon asked.

"What story?" Teddy pestered. "You were telling a story without me?"

"Shut up Ted. You've heard it a thousand times anyway." James complained.

"I don't tell it that much." Harry scoffed.

"Except every year," James started.

"At Christmas," Al continued.

"At New Years." Teddy grinned.

"On your birthday," Lily added.

"On my birthday," James said.

"On_ my_ birthday," Teddy argued.

"Our Anniversary," Ginny reminded him.

"When we go to school in September," Al interjected.

"When we come home in June," Lily listed

"At the Order meeting," James motioned to his brother to continued

"At the Ministry's meeting," Al pointed at Lily

"At the World Cup," Lily grinned

"AND ANY CHANCE YOU GET TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN" They chorused together. Harry rolled his eyes at them in the mirror.

"I don't tell it that often." He muttered. Ginny patted his knee.

"You kinda do Love."

Harry rolled his eyes again and smiled.

"It's a classic." He tired. The remaining Potters shook their heads at him.

"Okay, okay maybe I tell it a little too much." He sighed.

"A little?" Asked James, "Try a whole heaping ton!"

"James," warned Ginny. "Enough."

"Well I haven't heard it that often," Harry announced to the car, "And I want to hear the ending."

"In any book about Wizard History kid." Teddy said as he nudged him.

"I don't own any of those." Harry whispered.

"You can borrow mine." Teddy whispered back, winking at James. James stuck his tongue out.

"Can I tell my story now?" Harry asked impatiently.

"Course you can dad." Al said. James and Teddy both hit his head playfully.

"So where did I leave off?" Harry wondered aloud.

**SORRY! I'm a horrible human being! I'm sorry I haven't updated this for a while but I promise I didn't abandon it! I don't want to complain, but it's really hard to write this tory, because I don't really have a plot for it. It started as I wanted to write a fic and it seemed like a fun idea. I never dreamed it would be a popular as it seems to be and I had no inspiration for any of my fic for a long time until last week I got this message from someone who said they hadn't seen any of my work for a while and that the missed it. That was really nice for me and since I'm on Spring Break I decided I would work on my fics some more. Thanks to all of you who have been patient with me!**


	16. Harry Continues His Tale (Part One)

"So where did I leave off?" Harry wondered aloud, driving the car.

"Your parents died." Vernon said shortly.

"Oh, yeah. That." Harry muttered. "So after that would be… Hagrid?" He looked toward Ginny, she nodded. "Hagrid and Sirius."

"Who're Hagrid and Sirius?" Dudley asked.

"Getting there." Lily murmured to him.

"So after Voldemort tried to kill me and the curse rebounded and it shattered the house that my family had in Godric's Hollow," Harry started.

"Godric's Hollow?" Lindsay asked. "What's that?"

"It's like suburbia for Wizard's." Teddy explained. "Harry's old house is now a monument to his parents and all the people who died fighting Voldemort."

"Never been repaired, grass has never been mowed. Nursery's still crumbling into the ground." James affirmed.

"Anyway," Harry said over his son and godson. "My godfather, Sirius heard what happened and tried to come and get me, but then Hagrid showed up."

"What kind of name is Hagrid?" Dudley interrupted.

Lily faced him. "Hagrid's half-giant." Dudley gawked.

"You meet him once." Harry reminded him. Dudley's face remained blank. "The tail?"

Dudley's face turned pale. "That's his name he muttered. Harry laughed.

"The story?" Teddy urged.

"Right." Harry replied. "So Hagrid showed up and told Sirius that Dumbledore wanted me to live with my mum's sister. Something about ensuring the protection my mother had put on me but sacrificing herself for me. Sirius let him take me, he just wanted what was best, and he even lent Hagrid his flying motor bike."

"FLYING MOTORBIKE! YOUR GOD FATHER HAD A FLYING MOTORBIKE?" Dudley asked.

"Yeah," Harry chuckled as he turned the wheel of the car. "He did."

**Sorry it was shorter than the last one. I know you all don't like it, but I like having really short chapters for this story. For the most part they let me update sooner and it's easier to write semi-witty chapters if they are shorter in my opinion. I really hope I'm staying true to the style I used when I started this story. It's been a while and I have a lot of different styles and I change with each story I write so let me know in the review box if you can please.**


	17. Hagrid and the Doorstep

**I know you probably hate me, but I have exciting news! I was looking at some old emails and I've been writing this story for two years! Yep, I was a lowly freshman when I started this and now I'm a junior who made the mistake of taking two AP classes. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed!**

"FLYING MOTORBIKE! YOUR GOD FATHER HAD A FLYING MOTORBIKE?" Dudley asked.

"Yeah," Harry chuckled as he turned the wheel of the car. "He did."

"Where did he get that?" Harry asked.

"Uh… he either made it or he enchanted a regular motorbike. I'm not quite sure. I never thought to ask really." Harry replied.

"I think he enchanted it Harry." Ginny said. "Remember, 'cause dad was always trying to figure out how it worked."

"That's right!" Harry exclaimed slapping the wheel.

"The story…" Lily said to her father.

"Oh. Right." Harry replied. "So Sirius gave Hagrid his flying motorbike. Hagrid flew me all the way from Godric's Hollow to Privet Drive in about an hour. Met up with Dumbledore and McGonagall. They had a chat and Dumbledore left me on the doorstep with a letter."

"That's awful." Lindsay told him. Harry shrugged.

"Could've been worse."

"How?" She asked.

"He could've let an owl drop me down the chimney with the letter." Harry grinned. Lindsay looked at Lily.

"The headmaster at Hogwarts sends out all the letters by owl and normally they get dropped down the chimney." Lindsay still looked lost. Lily clarified "Dumbledore was head master."

"Yeah, Dumbledore was headmaster. So next morning Dudley's mum goes to put of the milk glasses and sees little one year old me sleeping, wrapped in a scarf and with this lightning scar on my head."

Petunia pursed her lips.

"Can we skip to the good part?" Teddy asked, crossing his arms. "No offence Harry, but the story of your lacking childhood is only entertaining so many times."

"Can we just skip to the part with the cupboard?" James asked.

"What cupboard?" Lindsay asked.

No one answered.

"What cupboard?"

"The one dad slept in." Al responded.

"You slept in a cupboard?" Harry shrugged.

"Yeah, for a bit." He replied.

"How longs a bit?"

"I dunno. I was about five or six? Then I went to school, came back and got a room. So five years, six years?" Harry looked in the mirror "Sound about right Dudley?"

"Yeah, that's about right." Dudley glared at his cousin. Lindsay glared at Dudley.

"Dad, tell the part about the platform." Lily said.

"And the train." Al added.

"And Uncle Ron." James laughed.

"Just skip to the part in the dungeons." Teddy complained.

"Dungeons?" Harry  asked.

"Yeah, under the school." Teddy picked at his nails.

"You have dungeons under your school?" Harry was in awe. Teddy nodded.

"You don't?"

Harry shook his head. "No, but I think there is a body under the foundation."

"I think there are some bodies at Hogwarts." Al piped in.

"REALLY?" Harry  asked.

"Harry's seen them!" Teddy grinned.

"REALLY?"

"I'm trying to tell a story." The older Harry grumbled.

"Then tell it!" Teddy shouted, smiling.

"So I turned eleven and we were on this little rock, an island, out in the ocean. It was stormy out and I heard this crashing, thought it was just waves. But it kept getting louder and louder till finally the door broke down."

"The waves broke your door down?" Vernon  snorted.

"No." Harry replied annoyed. "Hagrid did."

"Then what?" Dudley asked eagerly.

"Hagrid sat me down, gave me a birthday cake. Told me I was a wizard, I laughed at him a bit after that. That's when I realized he was being serious. So we chatted for a bit and all the sudden Hagrid's face turns red. I thought it was something I said. But then I saw that Hagrid was looking at Dudley, so I turned around also and there was Dudley eating the homemade cake Hagrid gave me."

"Which you should never do, by the way. Hagrid may be nice but he can't cook for all the gold in Gringotts." Teddy interjected.

"So Hagrid takes out this pink, flowery umbrella." Harry started again.

"A pink umbrella?" Dudley asked.

"It had the pieces of his wand in it." James explained.

"Why was his wand in pieces?" Harry  asked.

"It was snapped in half." Al said.

"How'd it get snapped in half?" Vernon asked.

"He got expelled, the ministry did it." Teddy said.

"So Hagrid takes his umbrella and he points it at Dudley. He mutters something and there a big flash and the next thing you know Dudley has a –"

"I think that's enough for now." Dudley glared at his cousin.

"Dad, we were just getting to the good part!"  Harry complained.

"Yeah, Big D, I was just getting to the good part!" Harry grinned at Dudley. Dudley scowled back


	18. Dudley's Tail

**I missed writing this. I missed you guys. I'm coming back to this, pinkie swear. It's a nice light hearted thing to write. Enjoy!**

"Yeah, Big D, I was just getting to the good part!" Harry grinned at Dudley. Dudley scowled back.

"Potter don't you dare." Dudley warned.

"Tell me what happened." Harry said. Dudley shook his head and sent a warning glance Harry's way.

"He grew a tail." Harry blurted.

"What?" Lindsay asked.

"He grew a tail." Ginny said.

"A tail?" Vernon asked.

"Yep. A pig's tail, it was all curly and short." Harry grinned.

"I said don't talk about it." Dudley grumbled.

"Why?" Harry asked. "It was cute. Should've kept it."

"Shove off." Dudley said.

"How?" Dudley asked. "How'd he get the tail?"

"Magic." Teddy said, raising his hands in an arch above his head.

"Then what happened?" Harry asked.

"We went home." Dudley grumbled.

"Well, they went home." Harry said.

"To get that tail removed." Dudley said.

"That's what you get for eating my first ever birthday cake." Harry replied.

"Where did you go?" Vernon asked.

"Diagon Alley." Harry said.

"What's Diagon Alley?" Lindsay asked.

"You don't know what Diagon Alley is?" Lily asked. Lindsay shook her head.

"It's only the greatest place in the world." Albus said.

"It's a street of shops for wizards." Ginny said. "Everyone shops there."

"Where is it?" Dudley asked.

"London." Teddy said.

"London?" Lindsay asked. "London as in London, England? That London?"

"That London." Harry nodded.

"I've been to London and I've never seen it." Vernon grumbled.

"You wouldn't have." James said. "It's hidden to your kind."

"My kind?" Vernon asked.

"Muggles." James said. The elder Vernon's face began to turn purple.

"James." Ginny warned.

"What?" He asked.

"Don't engage." She mumbled.

"Tell us more about Diagon Alley." Harry said. His brothers nodded eagerly.

**Sorry it's short. I've been away for so long, it's hard to get back into this story and I have some other things I'm working on and those have a deadline for that. I'll update soon, I promise!**

**Thanks for reading. Review, Favorite and Subscribe!**


	19. Are we There yet?

"Tell us more about Diagon Alley." Harry said. His brothers nodded eagerly.

"You don't want to hear about Diagon Alley." Harry said, a grin spreading over his face.

"Yes. Yes we do!" Harry chirped. "What is Diagon Alley?"

"It's like a shopping center." Lily explained. "It's just rows and rows shops really."

"It's where you buy your wands, and your robes, and your cauldrons." Teddy supplied.

"Where is it?" Vernon asked. "This Diagon Alley?"

"London." James said.

"You have to drive to London every time you want to buy something? Lindsay asked. "But London's so far."

"We don't go to London every time we need something." Albus said, rolling his eyes. "Loads of stuff we get brought by owls and there's more than one place to shop."

"So, why go to London at all?"

"The bank." Ginny said. "The bank's in Diagon Alley."

"You have a _bank_?" Vernon asked, speaking for the first time.

"Of course we have a bank." Teddy said. "Where else do you expect us to keep our hard-earned money you old to—"

"Teddy." Harry warned.

"What?" Teddy asked. "All I'm saying is—"

"I know what you're saying." Harry said. "No, stop."

Both Teddy and Vernon muttered under their breath.

"Are we almost there?" Lily whined.

"Yes. We're almost there." Ginny said rolling her eyes.

"How much longer?" Harry asked.

"Oh please not this." Harry.

"Are we there yet?" asked Albus.

"No. No. No. Please no." Harry said.

"Da-aad." Lily said. "Are we there yet?"

"Ginny. No. Please make it stop." Harry begged.

"Are we there yet?" Lily asked.

"Are we there yet?" Albus inquired.

"Are we there yet?" Harry begged.

"Are we there yet?" Vernon implored. The three older boys, having caught on to what the younger children were doing joined in the cacophony.

"Are we there yet?" James questioned.

"Are we there yet?" Dudley begged.

"Are we there yet?" Teddy queried, grinning. Then, as if it had been a carefully organized motion, the children all at once asked for one final time:

"Are we there yet?"

A simultaneous groan was emitted from the lips of all the adults as they sighed and rolled their eyes. The children laughed and Harry gripped his steering wheel tightly.

"Almost." Harry said with gritted teeth. "We're almost there."


End file.
